


swallow nostalgia (chase it with lime)

by jrjsunflowers



Series: FCU [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: M/M, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, also homophobia is boring so it doesn't exist, and an angel, bisexuality is the norm but you can be gay too, except lucy taylor morris who is an adult, farmer marty, he's a flirty mess, i love my dumb son tj, i'd die for her if you didn't know, rich kid tj, that's how it works bc i said so, they're all like seventeen ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 22:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17775383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jrjsunflowers/pseuds/jrjsunflowers
Summary: When TJ is forced to spend time at his mother’s farm to sort himself out, he meets a farmer called Marty. He has every reason to want to leave as he arrives, but as time ticks by and he grows closer to the uninterested farm boy, he finds himself with a few new reasons to stay.





	swallow nostalgia (chase it with lime)

The cool air blasting out of TJ’s car hit his hand and he shivered as he reached to turn it down. His car has been halted in the patch of dirt posing as a driveway for nearly twenty minutes. At the end of the driveway was a house with paint chipping off so much that at this point it was mostly the original color of the wood. To the side of the house was an off color barn and a large gate for the animals. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel of his Rolls-Royce. 

The front door of the house opened and his mom stepped on to the porch and waved excitedly. He mustered a half smile and stepped out of his car. “TJ, I’m so happy you’re here,” his mom yelled as she hurried down the driveway and engulfed him in a hug. She took his face in her hands rubbed his cheek with her thumb. “You look so big now.” 

He shrugged and carefully shook his head out of her grasp. “Well, that’s what happens when you don’t see someone for nearly a year.” 

She dropped her hands and frowned. “You say that like I was the one who didn’t reach out,” she stammered. She shook her head and plastered a smile on her face again. “I’m just glad you’re here now.” 

“Why is it that I’m here?” He spoke. His mom shifted her eyes to the ground and he realized how hurtful that must have sounded. “Not that I don’t want to be, you just didn’t give me much of an explanation. I had someone pack a bag for me, like you asked, but I don’t plan on staying here if that’s what it’s for.” 

“That’s the thing, TJ,” his mom sighed. “Your dad and me agreed that you should stay with me for a while.” He opened his mouth to argue but his mom placed a hand on his arm. “He doesn’t know what to do, neither of us do. You keep finding new ways to get yourself in trouble and he’s scared that you’re going to head down a bad path. We both agreed it would be good for you to take a moment out of the limelight.” 

“No,” he snapped. “I’m seventeen years old, not a kid, you can’t control me.” He fumbled with the keys and tried to unlock his car. 

His mom placed her hand on his and he shook it off. “I don’t want to scare you or threaten you, but you should know that your dad is planning to cut off your allowance if things don't change. You can leave, I won't stop you, but if you want to avoid that I'm going to need your keys.” 

He saw red and turned towards her. “He can't handle me so I have to suffer, is that what I'm hearing?” 

“I really wish spending time with me wasn't a punishment for you,” her voice wavered. 

He held the keys out and opened his hand and let them fall to the floor. “Me too,” he said as he walked past her up the driveway. 

-

The sound of the clock hanging above the door of the guest room was TJ's only reminder that time was passing. Every few seconds he could hear the sound of a bug buzzing or one of the animals stirring. His phone died sometime around seven last night and he managed to sleep through the night despite the mattress digging into his back. The room was slowly getting brighter and the shadows being cast were growing darker and he didn't feel like turning his head to check the time. 

The sound of brakes squealing made TJ lift himself off of the bed and look out the window. Behind his black car, which stuck out like a sore thumb against the scenery, was a deep blue pick up truck with a collection of dents and scratches. The door opened and a boy stepped out. 

_Now that's interesting. ___

__He straightened out his shirt and headed out of the room and outside. At the end of the driveway the boy was pulling tools, that TJ couldn’t name if he tried, out of the back of the truck. TJ leaned onto the back of his car and crossed his arms and waited for him to pass by. After a couple moments the boy finally walks past hauling something that looked to be heavy. He noticed TJ standing against his car and smiled. “You must be Lucy’s son. I’m Marty,” he shifted the weight of the item to his other hand and held his hand out to shake._ _

__TJ barely nodded before he reciprocated his handshake. “TJ, not like you didn’t already know that.”_ _

__Marty carefully set down the machine he was carrying. “Is there a reason I should already know that?” He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head._ _

__TJ blinked at him for a moment before realizing he was serious. “TJ Kippen?”_ _

__Marty shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. “I mean, Lucy told me you were coming but we didn’t get a chance to talk more in depth.”_ _

__TJ’s mouth gaped for a couple seconds before he responded. “I’m.. TJ? How do you not know who I am? Do you just flop around with animals all day?”_ _

__Marty doubled over in laughter. “Flop around with animals? I guess that’s one way to say it.”_ _

__TJ took a deep breath and tried to remind himself why he came down here. He rested his hand on Marty’s arm and put on his best smile. “So what is it that you’re doing here today?”_ _

__Marty looked down at where TJ was touching his arm. “I flop here during the week,” he teased._ _

__TJ nudged his arm and grabbed on to the fabric and Marty let out a soft laugh. The sun rising behind TJ reflected in Marty’s eyes and he was caught off guard by how warm they looked. “I can already tell you’re going to get on my nerves, huh?”_ _

__“I promise that I’ll try my hardest,” Marty said. TJ looked down and bit his lip. “I can tell you're going to be a distraction, huh?”_ _

__“Only if you want me to be.”_ _

__Marty stared at him for a moment, his eyes shifting focus every couple seconds. “Listen,” he said._ _

__TJ was all too aware of his hand on Marty's arm all of a sudden. He let it drop and opened his mouth to backtrack until he noticed a cow walking towards them from the edge of the driveway. He looked between Marty and the animal and wondered if this was normal in this area._ _

__Marty glanced over his shoulder and groaned. “Fuck,” he yelled. “How the do you keep escaping?” He jogged towards the animal and tucked one hand under her chin while the other one pet her head._ _

__TJ slowly walked towards the two of them, his feet barely lifted and they scraped against the loose gravel. He wrapped the sleeve of his hoodie around his hand and reached up to pet the animals head. “The cows aren’t allowed to wander around?”_ _

__“No,” Marty sounded stressed. “I have no idea how this keeps happening, I’ve checked every inch of the fence and tried nearly everything. She just keeps finding a way somehow.”_ _

__TJ noticed a patch of white on her forehead in the shape of a heart. He recognized her from when he was fifteen and his mom sent him pictures of all of her animals, he remembered staring at the heart shaped spot for so long that he saw it when he closed his eyes because he had no idea something like that was possible. “What's her name?” TJ asked._ _

__Marty carefully guided her forward in the direction of the barn. “Milkshake,” he said softly. He almost couldn't tell if he was addressing him or the animal._ _

__He followed along as they slowly crept towards the gate. “Who's idea was that name?”_ _

__“You're looking at him.”_ _

__TJ awkwardly played with the sleeves of his shirt as Marty guided Milkshake into the gate and double checked that it was closed. “And what a wonderful name it is.”_ _

__“You can stop trying to suck up to me now,” Marty snorted. “I'm not interested in being your summer fling because you're bored.”_ _

__“What sort of person do you take me for?” He scoffed._ _

__“You said it yourself, TJ Kippen.” Marty walked back towards the driveway where the machine he abandoned was sitting._ _

__TJ’s mouth gaped open. “If you knew who I am, why did you pretend you didn’t?” He followed behind him and struggled to match his pace._ _

__Marty glanced at him over his shoulder. “It was funny seeing you frustrated.”_ _

__TJ clenched his teeth. “So you’re a liar.”_ _

__Marty turned around to face him and kept walking backwards at a slow pace. “Me? I don't know. Maybe Walker Brodski could weigh in.”_ _

__“Walker?” The name was sour on TJ's tongue. He remembered biting his lip so hard he tasted blood when he opened Instagram to find a post from Walker dragging his name through the dirt. “Don't drag my shit into this.”_ _

__Marty caught himself before he backed into TJ's car and leaned against the side. “But it's fun,” he laughed._ _

__TJ stepped forward and placed his hands on the door of his car and leaned forward until his lips were a few inches from Marty's face. “You're irritating.”_ _

__“And-” his voice came out weak and he coughed. “And you’re very close.”_ _

__TJ shifted his arm so he was resting on his elbow rather than his hand. “Yeah?”_ _

__“You’re pretty good at this. I almost get why so many people fall for it,” he muttered._ _

__“Almost?”_ _

__Marty nodded and patted him on the shoulder. “Almost,” he said as he slid out from where TJ had him pinned._ _

__TJ tapped the roof of his car before he spun around. “Is that a challenge?”_ _

__“No,” he grunted as he lifted the machine again. “I have a feeling you’re going to take it as one though.”_ _

__-_ _

__TJ leaned against a soft brown fence that was worn down by weather. He tucked one hand behind his head and placed the other on his hip._ _

__Marty quirked an eyebrow and shook his head. “Oh, so this is happening now?”_ _

__“I don’t know what you mean,” he said with the flirtiest tone he could muster._ _

__He noticed something tugging on his shirt sleeve and glanced down to find Milkshake chewing on his sleeve. He screamed and ripped his arm away and fell backwards in the process. “Since when do cows bite?”_ _

__“They don’t,” Marty laughed and offered his hand to help him up. “You just stuck your arm near her mouth so she nibbled.”_ _

__“If you weren’t so cute,” he dusted off his pants and glared at her._ _

__“I’m kinda surprised you could find a cow cute.”_ _

__“Not sure why,” he pet the side of her head. “I did grow up here, and cows are inherently the cutest animals.”_ _

__“If this is your way of flirting you’re way off base,” Marty laughed and went back to checking the fence for loose boards._ _

__“No,” he frowned and let his hand fall. “Let me guess, you’ve read a bunch of shit about me?”_ _

__“I mean,” he shrugged and leaned against the fence. “It’s true, isn’t it?”_ _

__“Which rumor are you referring to?” TJ placed his hand next to Marty’s hip on the fence. “The beef with Dr. Phil? Egging Reed Henderson’s car? Me and Andi riding carts through the Wal-Mart parking lot and screaming ‘we’re gay’ over and over again at three am?”_ _

__“The one where you put on a persona and will say whatever it takes to get someone to fall for you.”_ _

__“As if I would even need to do that,” he rolled his eyes and laughed. “Walker was upset with me for leaving him, sure, but I’m in no way required to stay in a relationship I don’t want to be in. He made it public because he was hurt, which is… Whatever. It’s fine, but I don’t like it following me.”_ _

__“Besides,” he put his voice lower and placed his other hand on the fence. “I’m good at getting what I want.” He tilted his head. “But I’d never push things, if someone ever got uncomfortable I’d back off.”_ _

__“Good to know,” his voice gave out slightly._ _

__“Something about me being close catches you off guard, huh?”_ _

__“It’s- I don’t…” He stammered and let his mouth stay slightly parted rather than attempting to talk._ _

__“Good to know,” he leaned forward and whispered. He moved his hand and winced as he felt a slight sting. “Well, that was almost so smooth,” he stepped back and inspected his hand to find a splinter buried under a layer of skin. “I’m going to die, huh. This is it for me.”_ _

__Marty shook his head and grabbed his hand to look at it. “This is pretty deep, I’m going to have to use a needle to get it out.”_ _

__TJ ripped his hand back and held it protectively against his chest. “No, no. I’ll just leave it.”_ _

__“If you don’t get it out it could become infected.”_ _

__TJ nodded. “I’ve accepted my fate.”_ _

__Marty grabbed his other hand and dragged him into the house into the kitchen and sorted through his mom’s sewing supplies. He grabbed a needle and let it soak in a cup of peroxide before sitting down across from him. “This won’t hurt too much, okay? I’ve done it to myself before and it’s only a small sting.”_ _

__TJ tapped his foot and let his hand remain hidden under the table. “We really don’t have to do this, it isn’t necessary.”_ _

__Marty put his hand on his shoulder and smiled softly. “I’ll hold your hand,” he reached his hand out and TJ hesitated before laying his hand out palm up. Marty intertwined their fingers and let the needle sit on the table until he calmed down. “Okay?”_ _

__TJ nodded and closed his eyes. He winced as Marty went to work on extracting the wood._ _

__“Look,” Marty squeezed his hand slightly. “All done.”_ _

__“Oh,” TJ let out a relieved laugh. “That wasn’t so bad.”_ _

__Marty avoided eye contact as he carefully took his hand back. “I have to go back to work.”_ _

__TJ watched as he left and put his hands over his face and groaned._ _

__-_ _

__TJ glanced down as he walked and winced at the collection of dust gathering in his favorite brown shoes as he made his way to where Marty was working._ _

__He debated which pair of shoes to sacrifice all morning, almost preferred walking around barefoot rather than losing any of his favorites, but ultimately decided the damage wouldn’t be so bad on his deep brown pair. He figures he’s still in the denial stage of his clothes being ruined and he doesn’t want to know what acceptance is like._ _

__“Hey, cowboy,” he called up towards Marty just as he was on the second step on the side of the tractor. He turned around and wrapped his arm around the handle to balance himself. TJ lifted himself up on the first step and gripped the railing just under where Marty's hand was._ _

__“You have no concept of personal space, do you? Also I’m not a cowboy.”_ _

__TJ studied his tone for any sense of discomfort and detected none. “First of all, personal space? What’s the fun in that?”_ _

__“Not pissing people off.”_ _

__TJ dipped his head down to take a closer look at his facial expression as he talked. “Am I pissing you off?” He spoke softly. Marty opened his mouth to retort but shook his head slightly instead. “Secondly, you’re a boy who plays with cows.”_ _

__Marty stifled a laugh. “That's not what a cowboy is.”_ _

__“I’m pretty sure that’s the exact definition of what a cowboy is.”_ _

__“Tell me something,” Marty said with a nod. “When you were a kid, and you lived on this farm, did you think you were a cowboy?”_ _

__“I think you mean when I lived on this farm and was a cowboy.”_ _

__Marty rolled his eyes and shrugged. “You’re something else.”_ _

__“Something else, huh?” He straightened out the collar of Marty’s flannel and let one of his hands linger. “I could say the same for you.”_ _

__“And what if that wasn’t a compliment?”_ _

__He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth and tilted his head. “It was a compliment.”_ _

__“You’re pretty confident for someone who’s dirty laundry is public knowledge,” he teased._ _

__TJ looked down and winced. “I kind of.. Hate that feeling.”_ _

__“I’m sorry,” his voice softened. “I thought you’d be used to it by now.”_ _

__“I guess,” he took his hand back from Marty’s collar and fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater. “It’s not easy when-” he waved his hand in the air dismissing his vulnerability._ _

__“When I remind you?” TJ frowned and nodded slightly_ _

__“I know I’ve done some stupid shit,” he tilted his head further down out of sight. “But most people get checked by their friends and move on. I’ve got the entire world reminding me, constantly, of things I did months ago or even years ago.”_ _

__“I had no idea. I’m sorry I brought it up, won't happen again.”_ _

__“Yeah, well,” he awkwardly tugged on the sleeve of his sweater. “Kiss and make up?”_ _

__Marty’s jaw dropped and he lightly shoved TJ which resulted in him losing his balance and fall on the ground. “I was joking!” TJ scrambled up and tried his best to dust the dirt and grass off of his sweater. The sound of the tractor starting made him snap his head up. “Hey!” He attempted to scream over the engine. “I’m talking to you!” Marty glanced down at him and put his hands up in defense before turning back forwards. “Bitch,” he whispered._ _

__-_ _

__TJ craned his neck to glance at the time on the wooden clock hanging on the kitchen wall next to a picture of his dad, his mom, his sister, and him. He had been rolling this cheap plastic ball back and forth on his mother's kitchen table for nearly an hour now. He had all kinds of toys laying around from when he lived here, not that he remembered it. He wondered why his mom never took steps to erase his and his father's impact on this place The only difference in sight is the sign outside that now reads Morris Farms. The only reason for that change was that his dad didn’t want the name Kippen associated with his old life._ _

__“It’s a nice picture,” his mother’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I loved my life so much.”_ _

__He looked away from the picture and noticed how his mother doesn’t seem to have aged since. “What do you mean loved? We’re all still in your life,” he asked. He knew what she meant, they haven’t been close since he left. Amber visits more often than anyone and even her visits are annual._ _

__The wood scraping against the floor as she pulled the chair out across from him filled the silence. “I loved waking up every morning to my kids arguing, I loved teaching you new things about the farm, I loved having you guys so close.” She placed her hand on top of his, where it was laying on the table. Her fingertips were rough and calloused compared to his soft hands._ _

__He remembered when his favorite thing to do was sit on his mom's lap as she rocked back and forth on the creaky wooden rocking chair. The sound of the crickets in the patch of long grass before them was background noise to his mother speaking fondly about her own childhood memories. That experience was worlds away from his current lifestyle._ _

__His mom closed her eyes and sighed. “I have to go set up for tomorrow morning.” She stood to leave and after a moment leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “I love you.”_ _

__“I love you too,” he mumbled._ _

__The front door creaked as it closed and he heard the sound of the rocking chair swaying lightly. He stood up and walked towards the window and noticed the floorboards practically echoing throughout the house. He glanced between the white lace window curtain and saw her with her head in her hands. “She misses you, all the time.” He heard Marty speak up from the entrance of the kitchen._ _

__TJ let the curtain fall back into place and turned towards him. He was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with his flannel open revealing a white shirt with scattered dirt and grass colored stains. “Don't make me out to be the bag guy here,” he weakly spat back._ _

__Marty raised his hands in surrender and walked towards the collection of dishes that were set out to dry. He grabbed a glass cup with small flowers along the side and filled it nearly to the brim with tap water. “I'm just witness to it, is all.”_ _

__TJ crossed the kitchen and pulled himself up on the counter next to Marty. His hands traced their way up from his shoulder to the top of his head and he ran his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and let his head rest on the bottom of TJ's palm. “How was your day?”_ _

__“This feels weirdly domestic,” Marty hummed. “It was pretty good, got lot done. I love that feeling.”_ _

__“What feeling?”_ _

__“Accomplishment,” he took another sip of his water. “I like days when I have time to do extra.”_ _

__“I wish that were me,” he looked down and laughed. “I’m more of the bare minimum type,” he let his head hang._ _

__“You don’t have to be.”_ _

__He looked up and stared into his eyes. “What time do you go home?”_ _

__“Sometimes, like tonight I guess, I just sleep here,” he rested his elbow on the counter. “My folk live pretty far so it’s just easier on nights when I don’t get out of here on time.”_ _

__“Where do you sleep?”_ _

__“Your old room,” he smiled slightly as TJ pushed his hair backwards. “But now that you're here I'll sleep in Amber's.”_ _

__“So no cuddling?” He pouted and tilted his head to the side._ _

__Marty let out a light laugh and ran his finger along the rim of the glass. “That's a little weak, is someone off their game?”_ _

__“You seem to be enjoying this.”_ _

__Marty hummed. “I like having my hair played with, sue me.”_ _

__“I’ll keep that in mind,” he laughed under his breath. “I meant being chased, you seem to be having fun.”_ _

__Marty tapped his fingers on the outside of the glass in his hands. “What’s your favorite movie?”_ _

__“Why,” he tilted his head._ _

__“Research purposes.”_ _

__“Would you believe me if I said it was Back at the Barnyard?” TJ bit his lip and smiled._ _

__Marty pushed his shoulder. “Be serious.”_ _

__“I am!” He laughed as he spoke. “Me and Amber used to watch it everyday. Sometimes we’d manage to force mom to watch it and she’d cuddle us the whole time. It was nice,” he fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie._ _

__“Okay, I feel a little bad for laughing,” he looked up at him. “Can you blame me though.”_ _

__“Alright,” he straightened his back. “What’s your favorite movie?”_ _

__His smile dropped and he shook his head. “Let’s go back to making fun of you.”_ _

__“That means it’s a good one,” he grinned. “Spill.”_ _

__“Alright,” he groaned and looked down. “Space Jam.”_ _

__“Okay,” he raised his eyebrows. “Can’t believe you made fun of me.”_ _

__“Shut up,” he put his head against TJ’s shoulder as he laughed. “I don’t watch a lot of movies anymore but that one was always my favorite.”_ _

__TJ looked down at Marty tucked in between his shoulder and put his hand in his hair again. “No judgement,” he whispered, his voice soft._ _

__He looked up at him from his lashes. “I should go to sleep,” he whispered._ _

__“Okay,” he looked back and forth between him and his lips. Marty wrapped his arms around him and dug his face closer in his shirt. “Is this what going to sleep looks like? If so I’ve been missing out.”_ _

__“This doesn’t mean anything,” his words were muffled slightly through the fabric._ _

__“Okay,” he laughed and rubbed his back._ _

__-_ _

__TJ shifts uncomfortably on a stack of hay laying in the corner of the barn and tried not to imagine the micro tears in the fabric his pants were most likely developing. “I still don’t understand,” he picked off a piece of hay that somehow got sucked in between the laces of his shoes. “How you work in this condition all day.”_ _

__“You mean try to work as I get distracted all day?”_ _

__“No,” he crossed his legs. “The smell, the heat, the noises. I can’t stand it.”_ _

__“You don’t have to be out here,” Marty smiled over his shoulder._ _

__“Let’s go inside and hangout then.”_ _

__“Not me,” he called out. TJ slouched down and Marty turned to face him. “You can go inside at any point.”_ _

__TJ groaned and let himself fall backwards on the stack of hay. He shifted a few times as it dug into his back. “You’re no fun.”_ _

__The sound of shoes clicking against the ground at a fast pace as they headed towards the barn made TJ raise an eyebrow and lift himself up. A girl walked in with a forest green flannel and curly hair tied loosely above her head. “Who’s your friend?”_ _

__Marty stood up from where he was crouching and walked over to the two of them. “This is TJ,” he made eye contact with Buffy and shook his head before turning to him. “TJ, this is Buffy,” he sounded nervous._ _

__“Oh, I see,” she smiled at Marty. “I’ve heard all-”_ _

__“Buffy,” Marty said through clenched teeth._ _

__TJ shifted awkwardly as he watched the two of them talk. He heard the phone ringing inside and gestured to the door as he made his way to the white phone hanging next to the clock in the kitchen. “Hello?”_ _

__“I’m coming to visit do you need anything from home?” He heard his sister’s voice echo through the receiver._ _

__“Thank god,” he jumped. He ran his finger along the frame of the picture of his family. “My phone charger.”_ _

__“Okay,” she giggled. “You haven’t had your phone this entire time?”_ _

__“Yeah! It’s been hell,” he glanced out the window and saw Marty laughing along to something Buffy said._ _

__“Anything else?” He took a breath and closed his eyes as he let it out slowly._ _

__“Not that I can think of,” his voice came out barely a whisper and he turned away from the window as the two of them headed towards the door. “Do you think you could bring a cowboy hat?”_ _

__Marty walked in talking with Buffy and he pressed the phone closer to his ear to assure he’d hear her. After a couple moments he heard a click and the buzzing of an empty dial tone. He made no effort to move and let the buzzing become background noise to their conversation._ _

__“I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a while,” she leaned against the counter and tucked her hands in the pockets of her jeans._ _

__Marty opened the fridge and took out a pitcher with sliced lemons floating near the top. “I understand,” he reached crossed the kitchen and reached around TJ and grabbed a tall glass and titled the pitcher until the glass was halfway full. “Sure I miss hanging out with you, but you never see your mom,” he offered her the glass and she smiled and took it._ _

__TJ noticed he was squeezing the phone so hard that the small flower decals his mom had glued on were sticking into his palm. He opened his hand and let the phone clatter to the floor._ _

__The two of them turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?” Buffy asked, she sounded concerned._ _

__“Are you alright there?” Marty quirked an eyebrow._ _

__TJ shook his head and shrugged. “Nothing,” he reached down to pick up the phone and set it into place. “Besides almost breaking my mom’s phone.”_ _

__Buffy frowned. “You can tell us if something is bothering you.”_ _

__“Why am I getting harrassed for being clumsy?” He snapped._ _

__“Don’t be rude,” Marty turned to him._ _

__“Then stay out of my business,” he glared. His shoulders dropped and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“It’s okay,” Marty looked confused above all else._ _

__“Anyways,” Buffy said after a couple seconds of silence. “Do you remember that time we went ghost hunting inside that abandoned barn?”_ _

__“Oh yeah! And we thought we were talking to your grandma?” He smiled at the memory._ _

__“What would my grandma even be doing hanging around some random barn a mile away from her house?”_ _

__“Probably looking for the peace and quiet she always wanted,” he picked up an orange and started peeling it._ _

__“You know what? That’s fitting, maybe we were talking to her,” she looked up as she thought about it. “Give me half?”_ _

__He split it in half and threw it across the kitchen and she caught it in one smooth motion. “We should go back and ask her for her oatmeal cookie recipe.”_ _

__“Oatmeal cookies are gross,” TJ spoke up, relieved that there was finally a topic he recognized._ _

__“Yeah, I thought that too, but you’ve never had her grandma’s.”_ _

__“Yeah, I haven’t,” he looked down._ _

__“Remember when we tried making a slide by putting a wooden board against the roof?” Buffy pulled his attention back towards her._ _

__“Your mom almost had a heart attack,” he nearly yelled._ _

__“It’s almost a wonder we never got ourselves killed.”_ _

__“I’m going to let you two catch up,” TJ whispered to him._ _

__“You don’t have to do that, we can all talk,” Marty nudged him._ _

__He hated feeling jealous almost as much as he hated feeling like a background character._ _

__“Remember that time we tried to build a treehouse out of twigs and told our moms we were going to sleep in it.”_ _

__TJ sighed and pulled himself up on the counter._ _

__-_ _

__TJ was in the backyard trying to collect lightning bugs as Amber held a jar open ready to snap the lid on if they caught one. “I love you both, more than anything,” his mom whispered into the sky and TJ wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear it. He stood up on his tippy toes and managed to get one to land on his hand. He lowered his hand slowly and stared at it._ _

__“Here,” Amber shoved the jar towards his arm. He carefully tried to lower his arm towards the tip and nudge him off. The bug took flight and TJ screamed and flailed his arms. “Look what you did,” Amber huffed._ _

__The sound of an engine roaring made TJ glance over to the driveway to a car that looked like it belonged on tv. He’s never seen a car that was so shiny before in his life and he started to walk towards it. “TJ,” his mom stopped him with a hand on his chest. He watched his dad step out and smile at all of them. “What’s this?”_ _

__“Our new car,” he shook the keys and gestured to the vehicle. “Our car, that is going to take us to our new home.”_ _

__“Excuse me?” His mom sounded moments away from yelling._ _

__“Mom, what’s your problem?” He heard his sister ask._ _

__She kneeled down so she was eye level with Amber. “Why don’t you take your brother inside, okay?” She spoke sweetly but he noticed her smile drop the second Amber turned away from her and pulled him towards the door._ _

__Once the front door was closed behind him the two of them raced to the kitchen windows and attempted to look through the holes in the lace curtain to avoid suspicion. “How do you think dad afforded that car?” He asked. He closed one of his eyes to get a better look through the curtain._ _

__“He’s been saying for weeks that his business was going to give so much money we wouldn’t know what to do with it,” she said as she pressed the curtain up to the window to hold it still._ _

__“Why did mom seem upset though?” He watched as his mom pushed his dad's chest._ _

__Amber shrugged. “I guess we could find out,” she said and slid her hand behind the curtain and unlocked the window and slowly lifted it until his moms screaming could be heard lightly._ _

__“-You even dare try to take my kids,” his mom sounded desperate as she screamed._ _

__“They’re my kids too, and you know what? I think I could afford a-” The sound cut off as Amber tugged the window back into place. He looked over at her and hugged himself as he started crying._ _

__“We’re going to be okay,” her voice gave out as she cried along with him and she pulled him into a hug._ _

__-_ _

__TJ kicked his foot back and forth in sync with the clock ticking in the kitchen. The last two days that he’s been avoiding Marty have dragged on and the only hint at sanity he has is his sisters visit. He stood up and looked outside the window for the tenth time in the past twenty minutes and saw Amber and Andi making their way towards the door. Amber noticed him in the window and held the phone charger in her hands up to show it off. He rushed to the door and ran straight towards the charger in her hands. “I can’t believe you’re more excited for electronics than your sister.”_ _

__“I see your ugly face everyday,” he teased as he pulled her into a hug._ _

__“I love the compliments, so glad I drove an hour from the airport for this,” she hugged him back and ruffled his hair._ _

__“Hey Andi,” he smiled and pulled her into a hug. “I missed you.”_ _

__“You too,” she rested her head on his shoulder. “It’s been so weird not talking to you everyday.”_ _

__“Yeah, well,” he lifted the charger as he wrapped it around three of his fingers and tucked it in his pocket. “Hopefully soon that won't be a problem.”_ _

__Amber reached into the bag slung around Andi’s shoulder and pulled out a light blue cowboy hat with sparkles under the rim. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay and be a cowboy man?” She said with a thick southern accent._ _

__He ripped the hat out of her hands. “I said a cowboy hat, not a bachelorette hat.”_ _

__Andi grabbed it and carefully placed it on his head. “But you look so cute with it.”_ _

__“I really do hate both of you,” he headed inside and the screen door slammed behind him. He snatched his lifeless phone off of the counter and pulled it in. “Why isn’t it working?”_ _

__“It hasn’t had any juice in over two months, give it a minute,” Amber rounded the corner to the kitchen and Andi came trailing behind her._ _

__He tapped his fingers on the back of the phone and slammed it down after no response. “Has it really been two months since I got here?”_ _

__“How’d you not realize? I figured it would have dragged on for you,” Amber tilted her head._ _

__“Oh!” Andi jumped. “Someone’s been occupying your time.” TJ rolled his eyes and held down the power button until the screen showed a tiny lightning bolt. “I’m right! Who is it?”_ _

__

__“You guys are so annoying,” he lifted his sweatshirt to cover his face._ _

__“Oh my god he’s blushing,” Amber tugged the shirt down to show his face._ _

__The front door clicked open and TJ grabbed Andi’s shoulder. “Everybody shut the fuck up,” he whisper-yelled._ _

__His mom walked into the kitchen with a small stack of letters she was sorting through. She looked up and saw Amber and threw the letters towards the counter and they missed and scattered on the floor. “Amber,” she grabbed her face in her hands. “Oh my god, when did you get here,” she pulled both of them into a hug._ _

__“I just got here, mom” Amber smiled and squeezed TJ’s shoulder through the hug._ _

__He groaned but made no effort to escape._ _

__The smell of her perfume, the same perfume she wore every day when he was growing up, hit him like a train and he closed his eyes and let himself relax into the hug._ _

__-_ _

__“Do you think I could pull something like this off?” Andi held up a pair of child size army green overalls she pulled out of TJ’s closet._ _

__“Nah,” he held his hand out and Andi handed it to him. He ran his hand over the dinosaur embroidered on the pocket and remembered shoving dirt in the pocket for no other reason than to have it. “I barely pulled it off when it fit me.”_ _

__“I don’t know,” Amber tilted her head. “I’ve been shopping with you and seen you pick out some ugly items but then you show up and you’ve somehow managed to make it a look.”_ _

__Andi scrunched up her nose. “Thank you? I think.”_ _

__“It’s a compliment!”_ _

__There was a soft knock on the door and Andi’s eyes lit up. “Is this the mystery boy,” she whispered._ _

__Amber shushed her and pulled her on the bed next to her. “Pretend we aren’t here,” Amber gestured for him to go on._ _

__TJ shook his head and opened the door to find Marty kicking his feet. He glanced up as the door opened and smiled slightly. TJ pursed his lips together to hide the smile creeping across his face. “What’s up, Marty?” He picked at a spot of paint chipping near the door frame._ _

__“You haven’t been by in a while,” he_ _

__TJ glanced over his shoulder and saw Andi and Amber hanging on to every word. He guided Marty back by his shoulder and closed the door behind him so they were alone in the hallway. “I've been.. Busy?”_ _

__He bit his lip and looked down. “I don't know why I'm here,” he laughed nervously. “I'm going to- uh,” he turned to leave and TJ grabbed his shoulder and gently turned him until they were face to face._ _

__“I’m sorry,” TJ looked into his eyes for a second before looking down. “I’m not good with this stuff.”_ _

__“What stuff? I feel like I missed something,” he sounded frustrated._ _

__He groaned and let his head fall backwards. “Jealousy,” he barely let the words fall from his lips._ _

__“So I really did miss something,” Marty chuckled. “What on earth are you jealous of?”_ _

__“You know,” he picked at a loose thread hanging off the sleeve of his sweater. “Buffy.”_ _

__Marty quirked an eyebrow and laughed. “Buffy is a whole ass lesbian.”_ _

__He whipped his head up. “Oh.”_ _

__“So, you were jealous?” His voice was soft and he looked at him like he was unsure._ _

__TJ shrugged and nodded. The two of them stared at each other for a couple moments, the only sound that could be heard was their breathing. He’s never found silence to be comfortable, especially when it involves other people, but he wished he could stay in the moment forever._ _

__Marty took a step back and frowned. “I saw Amber’s here, can I go talk to her?”_ _

__TJ bit his lip and nodded. He opened the door behind him and saw Andi fall backwards and Amber pretend like she was testing the doorknob. “Honestly, I'd expect nothing less from you two,” he took Andi's hand and helped her stand._ _

__Amber stood up and linked her arm with Marty's. “We need to catch up,” she told him and exchanged a nod with Andi before she pulled him out of the room._ _

__Andi shut the door behind them. “So this ones a cutie.”_ _

__“Yeah,” he let himself fall back onto the bed. “A lost cause, of course, the one time I actually want something.. Real? I guess.”_ _

__“Woah, what?” She sat down next to him on the bed. “I never thought I’d hear that.”_ _

__“I know,” he sat up and pulled his feet up so that he was facing her. “I come here for like a couple months and I’m falling in love and shit.”_ _

__Andi’s jaw dropped and she smiled and pulled him into a hug. “This is so huge for you,” he closed his eyes and hugged her back. “Patrick really did a number on you. I was so worried you’d never find someone you could trust again.”_ _

__“I mean, it’s been two years. I have dated since then.”_ _

__“TJ,” she pulled away and held onto his shoulders. “You’ve been bouncing from relationship to relationship and treating it like a game since then. This is the first time you haven’t been scared.”_ _

__“I am scared,” he pulled away and looked down._ _

__“This is good scared, though,” she touched his arm. “You’re not scared of getting cheated on or lied to, you’re scared he wont feel the same.”_ _

__“You’re right,” he nodded. “That doesn’t make it easier.”_ _

__“I know,” she smiled sadly. “I’m here though, and I’m not going anywhere.”_ _

__-_ _

__TJ ran his hands along the textured wallpaper as he walked through the hallway towards his mom's room. His sister was sitting on the floor in between their mom’s legs as she braided her hair. It reminded him of his mom brushing her hair every morning, he used to wish he had long hair so that she could brush his too. He crossed the room and sat next to her and she smiled at him._ _

__“I want to apologize,” his shoulders were tense and he couldn’t turn his head to face her._ _

__“For what?”_ _

__“Everything,” he blinked back tears._ _

__“TJ,” she let the braid she was working on fall loose._ _

__“I used to wonder how different my life would be if dad didn’t sell his business,” he wiped away a tear that fell down his cheek. “And I used to be terrified by the idea, as if that was the worst thing that could happen. I used to be so thankful for how everything turned out, but I realized something.”_ _

__He took a breath. “Dad’s life isn’t happier, it’s the opposite, having everything you want doesn’t make you happy. I miss my family, I miss being here with you guys, I miss this.”_ _

__“I was so shitty to you, I was so pretentious, and rude and-” He cut himself off when a sob made it difficult to speak._ _

__She wrapped her arms around him. “Baby, it’s okay. You’re okay,” her own voice wavered. “I love you so much,” she kissed the side of his head._ _

__Amber pulled herself up on the bed next to him and rubbed his back. “Look, TJ,” put her head on her shoulder. “We’re all together again.”_ _

__“I’m so proud of who you’ve become,” his mom whispered into his hair._ _

__He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head to look at her. “You are?”_ _

__“Of course,” she spoke firmly. “I always have been, never stopped.” He stared at her with his eyes wide. “Never.”_ _

__“I’m proud of you too, you dork,” Amber nudged him._ _

__TJ noticed his mouth was hanging open and snapped it shut. “I love you, both of you.”_ _

__She pulled him and Amber into a hug. “I love you too,” she put her hand on the side of Amber’s face. “I’m proud of you too.”_ _

__“This is so cheesy,” she blushed._ _

__“We have a limited amount of time where TJ is cheesy, we have to act fast,” she laughed._ _

__“You know what? I take offense to that,” he teased._ _

__“Oh, do you?” His mom tickled the side of his stomach._ _

__“No! Stop,” he fell back and laughed._ _

__“Oh my god, he’s still ticklish,” Amber squealed and tried to hold his wrists down while his mom attacked his stomach._ _

__He managed to shake his wrists free and crawled further onto the bed until he was out of reach. “Not fair.”_ _

__“What time is it?” Amber jumped up._ _

__“I think it’s time,” his mom stood up._ _

__“This is so cryptic, what’s going on?” TJ said with a nervous laugh._ _

__“Come on,” Amber grabbed both of his hands and pulled him up. She led him outside and he sent a questioning look to his mom. “Look,” she pointed to the air._ _

__He stared into the darkness and tried to focus on what she was pointing and gasped when he noticed the sparkling lights of dozens of lighting bugs flying around._ _

__He sat down on the floor next to his mom as she slowly rocked back and forth and a noticed a lighting bug on the ground next to his foot. He lowered his hand and it crawled onto it. As he pulled it up to inspect it he realized his life wasn’t so different after all._ _

__-_ _

__TJ glanced over the farm he’s seen a million times and realized that he’d never quite seen it like this before. The sun was slowly rising and the sky was a bright pink hue which faded into a soft blue. Everything from the drops of dew on the grass to the frog hopping along the pathway to the house looked like it was painted by hand. The various birds and bugs made the whole scene sound so surreal._ _

__Marty sat next to him on the porch stairs and for a single moment everything felt perfect._ _

__“I’m surprised you’re up,” Marty’s voice sounded soft._ _

__“I’ve been thinking,” he let himself absorb everything one last time before he ruined everything. “I’m going to leave with Andi and Amber.”_ _

__Marty turned towards him and TJ kept his focus on the scene in front of him._ _

__“I’m going to do things differently this time. I’m going to call my mom everyday, I’m going to visit way more often, I’m going to cut off all of those soul sucking people in my life.” He nodded to himself. “It’ll be different.”_ _

__“Okay,” he sounded apprehensive. “I mean, I saw that coming. I don’t know why I’m still surprised.”_ _

__“I wasn’t planning on leaving but I realized something,” he turned towards him and lifted his leg onto the seat so that his whole body was facing him. “I have to leave you alone, I think. I just, don’t think I can be around you all the time.”_ _

__“I don’t know if you know this,” TJ looked into his eyes and was still caught off guard by how beautiful they were. He almost wished he was a painter so he could slather that exact color over everything. “I got hurt really bad before, and this is a huge step, but it’s bringing a lot up.”_ _

__“I’ve never met someone I got along with so quickly and I feel like I’ve known you my whole life…” He swallowed and steadied himself before he let himself continue. “I just couldn’t leave without telling you that.”_ _

__He watched as Marty’s eyes widened. He stood up before Marty could respond and took a step towards the door before Marty pulled him back and pressed his lips against his._ _

__TJ was hyper aware of everything from Marty’s hand tangled in his hair to the other hand interlocking their fingers. He pulled him closer by the front of his flannel and smiled into the kiss._ _

__Marty smiled too and pressed his forehead against his._ _

__“Did I miss something?”_ _

__“I didn’t want to get hurt,” Marty whispered. “I didn’t want you to leave, funnily enough.”_ _

__“Well you could have mentioned that,” TJ shook his head. “All this could have been avoided.”_ _

__“Either way, I’m so glad I can do this now.”_ _

__He interlocked both of their hands. “Can we stay like this all day?”_ _

__Marty kissed him softly and the world seemed to stop around them. “We have time.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you amanda w̶h̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶i̶c̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶
> 
> Reviews: 
> 
> “I have seen this story from the inside and out and I can assure everyone that autumn has created something incredibly fun and wonderful. she wrote every word with so much thought and care, it's some of the most love I've ever seen go into one beautiful behemoth of a fanfiction.  
> I promise that this is the most fun you will ever have reading a fic, also autumn is holding a knife to my neck as I write this please help me plea—” - amanda. (@swingsetboys on tumblr)
> 
> “gay farmer rights!!!” - amanda’s cat, latte.


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